Which Way Do I Go?

I have been wrestling with some decisions over the last couple of weeks that have come to a head the last few days.

Some decisions are pretty easy- to eat or not to eat? Eating almost always wins and without a lot of angst-filled thought. Some are harder- to get out of bed or to go back to sleep? This one could use a pro/con list but usually the 'get out of bed' comes out the winner... at least eventually.

It is the really hard decisions- you know, the ones that could change the course of your life- that leave me slightly dazed. While I'm constantly praying for God's will and direction in my life, sometimes (often during decision making prayers) He becomes curiously silent. And so I wait.

I'm not a fan of waiting.


Waiting on direction from the Lord is a lot like a plane circling the airport in a holding pattern. You may be moving but you aren't going anywhere. You aren't where you started out but you aren't where you are going either. And being anything but patient and pleasant is simply a waste of time and energy.

I've found that the problem is usually not so much that God isn't ready to talk but that I'm not ready to listen. And usually I'm not ready to listen because I really only want to hear one answer. And that usually isn't the one that He has for me. So even if He tries to speak to me and clearly says "The answer is blue", my mind tries to rearrange (twist?) the answer so that I reply, "Green, right, the answer is green".

No wonder God is silent.