Present

I am still alive. Life is good. That is all for now.

What I love today

I love fall in Florida. I love living in the country. I love walking in the morning and feeling the warm sun on my face while the cool breeze flows around me. I love listening to the sounds of nature- the birds and the bugs and the leaves in the trees. I love knowing that my heart is right with God, that Jesus will never leave me or forsake me and that His Holy Spirit dwells within me. I love knowing that I am right where I am supposed to be at this moment in time.

Revolt Leader Identified

The leader of the revolt has been identified. Her name is Pride. She runs with a couple of other roughians- Criticism and Self-Righteousness. They’re a mean bunch and masters of disguise. I’ve dealt with them before and thought they were banished but somehow they managed to slip back in. Looks like I’ve got some evicting to do and then I’m gonna work on shoring up the border patrol.


"Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the LORD pondereth the hearts."
Proverbs 21:2

Mutiny

Sometimes I want to do the right thing but I don’t actually want to DO the right thing. I can see what I’m supposed to do, my head and my heart both agree that yes, that is the right thing to do. However, there seems to be mutiny in the ranks because I can’t get my body to follow through. Hands, feet, mouth (especially mouth- a major ringleader in the rebellion) simply won’t budge. AARRGH! If I can’t get these rogues in line soon we may discuss plank walking. Perhaps that will make doing the right thing look more appealing.

Thanks, Soldier

I frequently receive forwards from friends and relatives reminding me to pray for the soldiers who are defending our freedoms in foreign lands. I am so grateful for them because it DOES remind me to pray and not to take those freedoms for granted.

We have a young friend in the Army who is on his third deployment to the Middle East. He was in both Afghanistan and Iraq and at present is not allowed to divulge exactly where he is because that would be dangerous for him and his fellow soldiers. He has a lovely wife and 2 beautiful young children here in the states as well as his parents and sister. The phone service where he is is limited so the soldiers must stand in line to use the phone. Last time he called his parents he stood in line for 6 hours to be able to use the phone for just a few minutes, since the line behind him was still long. How he must have agonized in trying to decide who to call during those six hours.

I can't imagine what he must go through on a day to day basis but I know that it is hot and dirty and without most of the conveniences that I take for granted. I know that he must be terribly lonely for his family and that their faces and voices must haunt him in the quiet hours of the night. I know that this particular young man is depending completely on the Lord for both himself and his family while he is away. He knows how important his work is for their sakes and ours and he believes that it is exactly what God would have him do with his life at this time.

I am grateful that he does.


(Note: Actually posted on Nov 18, 2006 - I wrote this back at the beginning of Oct and saved it as a draft. For some reason I never went back and posted it. Since it was written, this particular soldier has completed his deployment and has been sent back to the states- much to the delight of his family. There are many others who continue to need our prayers and encouragement.)

Going Public- Big Wave..Big Wave...

It took me a while but I finally went "public" with my blog. Talk about a big wave! At first I wanted to see if I had both the discipline to keep at this and something, anything, worth saying. The answers came back- somewhat and maybe. The act of thinking about what I'm thinking about and then ACTUALLY writing it down instead of just letting it run around in my head has been challenging. My thoughts seem to enjoy running around in all that empty space and it's really hard to corral them - rather like my grandsons.
Those who know me well know that I'm very good about writing letters- in my head. The problem is that they rarely make it onto paper and if they do, then the big hurdle becomes to actually make it into the mailbox. There's the whole proofreading, copy it over on the good stationary (ok, clean paper), find an envelope, find the address book, find the address - no the current address, find a stamp, remember to take the letter to the mailbox. If they make it this far they may ride around in my purse for a week or two, in which case, by the time I find it the whole thing may be outdated. Sheesh!
We were all excited when I got email, thinking this would be the answer. Fast, easy, no stamps, envelopes or addresses to keep up with. The computer wouldn't fit in my purse so that wasn't going to be an issue. Things looked promising. Unfortunately no one took the thinking thing into consideration. Email is fast. Instant Messaging is faster. I'm not fast, much less faster. I need time to consider, to reflect, to ponder, to rewrite if need be. While I'm doing all this thinking, life is moving on. By the time I'm ready to answer an email no one remembers what I'm talking about. Instant messaging is worse- everyone has signed off and I'm talking to some AOL guy who's going -HUH?
So far, blogging is better. I can take my time. I can rewrite to my heart's content. I can even edit if I need to. Yes, it's not as personal but, hey, at least it's something. Another way my kids can see that I'm still alive. (the answering machine wasn't quite cutting it- seems I don't change to message often enough- who knew?)

Morning Symphony

Have you ever listened to the morning? When I took my walk this morning the Lord impressed me to just listen to the sounds around me. I thought this would be easy. After all, I only walk for 15-20 minutes. I could quiet my thoughts and just listen for that short time. It was amazing how many different sounds I heard – at least a half dozen different birds, squirrels, frogs, several kinds of bugs and a couple of engines just for good measure. Yes, this is relaxing, I can do this…Where are my thoughts? Oh, no, I’ve wandered down some mental trail and I’m mulling over one of many issues in my life.
Not listening.
Ok, back to concentrating on the sounds. Birds, yes, there are the birds, oh, and a chattery squirrel. A symphony of sounds, this is great, what a beautiful morning… now where am I? Another thought trail.
*Sigh* This is going to take some practice.

Changes

Ever notice how life can change in just an instant? One moment you are going in a certain direction with a particular goal in mind and the next moment all previous thoughts are gone and life has changed forever. For instance:

your car stops and the one behind you doesn't
there are two blue lines on the stick
you are walking along and suddenly your feet are no longer underneath you but the ground is rushing at you with amazing speed
your beloved whispers "will you marry me?"
the doctor says "your tests were positive"
your daughter says, "guess what, mom, we're getting married"
the doctor says, "it's a boy!"
your beloved comes home from work and announces a wonderful promotion - 500 miles away
your son says, "Dad, I joined the army"
the doctor says, "I'm sorry, we did everything we could"

Life will never be the same. Even if the particular life changing episode comes to an end, the very act of going through it will leave you changed. Hopefully wiser, stronger, braver and closer to the God who loves you and has promised to never leave you nor forsake you. Every day brings a new challenge - some good, some not so good and some excruciatingly painful. It is how we respond to those challenges that determines whether we will become better or bitter.
Personally, I think life is too short to waste it on being bitter and I have LOTS of room to get better, sooo..... let the adventure begin!

It's hard to find good help

My file clerk is giving me trouble again. She is SUPPOSED to keep my cranial files in order and pull up words and information when I need it. You know, the important questions like 'Who was the guy who played the captain on Love Boat?' or ' Where did I put the car insurance policy?' or 'Where did I put the car?'. She is also SUPPOSED to keep a steady supply of appropriate words on hand during a conversation.

Hi, Mary!
Hi, Sue!
How is your family?
Oh, great, we went out last night to... you know, to one of those places where you eat popcorn, they turn out the lights and you watch all those pictures move on the wall... Oh, what's it called?
You mean a movie?
Yeah, Yeah, a movie!!!
Was it any good?
Was what any good?

A good file clerk would NOT leave you hanging like that. She would not make you play verbal charades. But mine does. I don't know if she sleeps on the job, takes frequent long breaks or if she is just rearranges all the files for kicks. Sometimes I suspect the latter. Especially when I reach for a word and am met with a blank. Nothing. Thin air. Sometimes I latch on to whatever comes to mind just to fill the void and move on. It makes for interesting interchanges.

Mother: Janey would you please go put these clean clothes in ( .............) the refrigerator?

Wife: Dear, would you please hand me the salt for my (.................) socks?


The woman has a warped sense of humor. I would fire her but I can't find a replacement. If you hear of a good prospect tell her to call me. My number is in the (................) laundry basket.

Plans

I confess, I am a planner. I like to plan. I like to organize. I like lists and 3x5 cards and bright colored sticky notes- in all sizes and shapes. My sister has suggested that the inscription on my tombstone should read: "She made a list. She had a plan." I was hoping for something a bit more profound but at least it's accurate. I enjoy organizing a multitude of details into something orderly. For me, the planning is half the fun. Lesson plans & chore charts. Parties, showers, and weddings. Vacations, wardrobe plans & packing lists. Menus & grocery lists.
>>The Daily To Do List<<

Oh, sorry, I was drifting into List Land. I love it there! Now, where was I? Oh, yes, planning. I love a good plan. I make lots of great plans. Most of them never get beyond that point. Why? Life. Pure and simple. Life comes along and rolls right over my plans as if they weren't even there. Like the waves of the ocean wiping out a giant sandcastle. Now you see it, now you don't. Doesn't matter that I spent hours on that great plan. Doesn't matter that I finally got every box in the chart filled in just the right order and perfectly color coordinated. Doesn't matter whether the things in my plan were important or not. Nope, doesn't matter. God just lets Life roll right over everything.

The interesting thing is that when I just "go with the flow", set aside my great plans and allow the Lord to take over my schedule, Life becomes an adventure. I end up going places that I would never have thought to include in my plan. I meet people that I had no idea even existed. Relationships that had lain dormant are allowed to flourish and grow. Sometimes I even get to pick up pieces of information that will be helpful in solving a current or longstanding problem.

The very things that disrupted my plan provide the opportunities to complete the best plan of all- the one God designed for my life. I end up accomplishing more than I ever dreamed and collecting more true treasures than I ever thought possible. All because I let go of my Great Plan and let God be in control.

I think I better get a sticky note.

Who am I - part 2

Ok, here's why I have a hard time with this whole psuedonymn thing- I can't remember who I'm supposed to be if i'm not who I really am.
I sat down to enter Blogworld and couldn't remember who i was supposed to be here. *Shakes head and sighs* Sad.

(side note...dtr #4 just enlightened me re: the asterisk and action in cyberworld. I just felt the splash of a wave!)

I am always challenged when someone asks, "What do you do?" because the answer changes from day to day. Sometimes even within a day. We ask that question because we are trying to find out if we have common ground with someone in order to form a basis for a conversation, if not a relationship. It may not be much, but it's a start. When someone answers with three words that have 15 letters each, most of us smile, nod wisely and say something brilliant like, "Wow". Conversation then moves on to other stimulating topics such as the weather or the latest insurance commercials.

I can state most emphatically that what I do has very little to do with who I am. (This may or may not be an accurate assessment but it is indeed emphatic.) Usually I do what needs to be done next within the scope of my abilities. Sometimes that contributes to the family coffers and sometimes it doesn't. It always contributes to my personal growth in some way. Often it is in doing the things that I would never choose that I find myself stretched and my heart enlarged in some way. It is when I have come to the end of my strength or ability to continue that I am pressed to reach out to the Lord and find a ready and willing ally. When I have come to the end of myself I find that He is just beginning.

Who am I?

My computer is constantly asking me who I am. In fact, every time I go someplace new in cyberworld they ask who I am. My name does not seem to be sufficient- I must have a Username and a Password that needs to be changed on a regular basis. My Username must reflect who I am but not actually reveal my true identity. My Password must be something that I can remember (HA!) but not something that someone else might be able to figure out. All of this because of security.
There seems to be a hot market for stolen names these days. I don't understand this. Most people are given three or more when they are born. They often pick up several others as they go through school, get married, join the military or enter the work force. Just how many names does one person need? And what happens to them? Do they wear out? Do they break? Are they lost, perhaps inadvertently left behind when one is shopping or on vacation?
When I was a child I would have gladly given someone my name. I wore it like a pair of shoes that were too big but had been laced up so tight that the middle pinched while the heel rubbed up and down creating a blister. It just didn't seem to fit. Funny thing about growing up. Lots of things start to work right without you even realizing it. One day I woke up and realized that my name was just right for me. It fit me perfectly. And even more surprising, each year it seems more and more tailor made just for me.
So now, when Cyberworld asks me to rename myself, it is a real challenge.

New kid at the ocean

Remember the kid at the ocean who barely got one toe in the water, yelped & ran away? Eventually she may have gotten her ankles or even her knees wet, hopping tiny waves all the while. Then, when she least expected it, a big wave came along, splashed her all the way over her little head & took her breath away. It took all day but by the time mom yelled "Time to go!" you could hear her whine all the way down the beach as she scampered in and out and around the waves like she had grown up by the sea.

Welcome to my new blog. My ankles are damp and I'm not sure how long it will take for me and my blog to become friends but here we are.